One thing in London I still can’t get used to? The Tube. From the fact that it’s underground (that just doesn’t seem normal to me, humans belong above ground), to the fact that eye contact is world’s biggest no no, the while thing is just baffling to me. And yes I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, how original, a northerner who doesn’t understand the tube. Well I can navigate it, I’ve got the app, it’s the other bloody people who I don’t get.
Don’t get me wrong, the thought of driving round London makes me want to cry - my rage levels certainly couldn’t handle it - but why is it so wrong to simply smile at the person travelling alongside you? I’m not trying to steal your seat, be your best friend or hint at a marriage proposal, I’m just not in a terrible mood and as I’ve caught your eye (what with you being directly opposite me and all) I thought I’d smile.
CALL THE POLICE. SHIT HAS GOT REAL.
Seriously, I wish I could get away with taking photos of some of the reactions I get from simply smiling at someone. You’d think I’d stolen their last chip.
Writing this I just can’t get the song ‘never smile at a crocodile’ out of my head. Seems apt, but then again I can only remember the first two lines. Pretty sure humming on the tube is frowned upon too.
I’m going to make it a rule. From now on my frown is going to be upside down. Scowl at me and all you’ll get is a hearty grin. Oh wait, doesn’t the song then say something about grinning? Seriously though, to quote that wonderful poet and philosopher Will.i.am, where is the love?
Not underground, that’s for sure.